Notes for the Journey Articles
The year was 1982 and I was the new missionary pilot in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, South America. By new I mean just arrived that day. Our airplane, a Cessna 206, was sitting outside in the wind, sun and rain. It was sitting outside our hangar! Our hangar, built and owned by our missionary organization, was filled with ultralight aviation toys! I didn’t like it. It wasn’t right and should have never happened. That is how my missionary career started with CONFLICT.
Acceptance is defined like this: “The ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique persons. Which means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts and opinions.”
At the beginning of 2020 I took one of those “Word of the Year” quizzes, just for fun. My word of the year for 2020 was GATHER. I didn’t really think much about it because to be honest, life was super busy and I couldn’t see how taking the time to gather would work out but I still tried. And then there was COVID-19…
Do you want to build strong relationships? Invest the next 3 minutes to discover some tips to become a more effective listener. It's easier than you think and the outcome is trust and healthy relationships.
How do you increase your effectiveness in connecting with others in a group? This blog unpacks each of these questions and gives some practical tips and tools to become a more effective communicator. I’ll also give you a framework for living out Simmons Values as you are connecting with a group of people during the next meeting or presentation that you give.
Do you want to have healthier relationships? What if you were able to connect better with your spouse, significant other, co-workers and friends? I want to give you some tools that will transform your relationships and help you to have healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others.
Without pruning, the results of your efforts will be average. Not average compared to other people; average compared to who you could be or what you could do - average compared to your own potential…
“I want to connect with people, but I’ve spent the last 40 years building walls. I don’t even know where to start.” Maybe you feel the same way as one of our leaders, who had just articulated his vision for what he wanted to be able to say about his relationships in the end. He wanted to still be married to his wife, have a close relationship with his kids, and have meaningful relationships with his parents, siblings, and friends. But then reality hit. Where he wanted to end up and where he was headed were completely in the opposite directions. His question was, “Where do I even start to turn this ship around?” I don’t think he’s the only one asking this question.
How do you wrestle the reins out of the hands of the Control Freak in your life? That depends more on your relationship to the Control Freak than what they are doing to control your life. Dr. Parrott, in his book “The Control Freak,” lists six different varieties of Control Freaks and gives suggestions on how to cope with each.
Most people would agree that a sense of control is necessary for good emotional and physical health. But when people use control to dominate everything around them they have crossed the boundary into over-control. The key is being smart enough to know when to use your control and when not to, or how much control to tolerate from others. Your over-controlling creates stress in me and makes me feel that I have no control at all.
It’s interesting how some words are so closely connected to others. For instance, the title of this blog is “Premeditated” - what’s the next word that came to your mind? I would bet a slice of pie from The Wooden Spoon that it was “Murder” (Tip: Always bet pie. Win or lose: you get to eat pie). What might surprise you, is that I want to talk about forgiveness.
Success. We strive after it. We devote an enormous amount of our energy pursuing it. But can you define it? Most often, managers will define success as a healthy bottom-line. And they are not wrong, but there is a tension here, isn’t there. The tension is that you work for a company that has a value of Put People First. Many managers feel the tension to choose either results or relationships. I want to challenge you today that it is not an either/or, but rather effective leaders realize that success is predicated on my ability and willingness to value both results and relationships. So what does that look like and how does a manager make that shift in thinking?
We’re tackling the question, “What is the secret to becoming an effective leader?” Last week, we looked at the fact that effective leaders have a clear vision for what we are aiming for and they communicate it with clarity and regularity. This week, we will look at another secret to effective leadership: Engaging and Developing Others. We will discuss what it the opportunities that you have to invest in the lives of those you are leading, whether in the workplace, at home or in your community. We all influence those around us. That’s what leaders do. But are you adding value to their lives? Check out this week’s blog.
What you think about a person may not always be true. And, what you have heard said about a person may not be true.
A few years ago I went to a hospital in Tulsa to be with a Simmons’ employee and family whose small child was having surgery. As we were sitting in the waiting room, one of the teenage boys noticed my boots. Having already been introduced as a company chaplain, he said, “I thought a preacher would be wearing dress shoes.” I responded by saying, “Well, these are dress boots.”
What you say, what you don’t say, your non-verbals, how you chose to respond - you are always communicating something to someone...
This article is not for everyone. Today’s article is about aging parents...
I was sitting at a table at ONYX Coffee Lab in Springdale with my mentor early one morning in April last year. The focus of our conversation was how to better invest in our family. We had been meeting once a month for the last four months. I had his trust and he had mine. There was a moment where the conversation paused and he asked a question that I will never forget, “Nick, where is your finish line?”
When was the last time you heard someone say to you, “I love you?” Some may have opportunity to hear it every day. Others may go weeks or longer before hearing these words. Each of us desire to be loved...
Some of the best friends I have had and still have are friends that were made in the workplace. Not everyone in your workplace will become “best friends,” but there are some principles that are applicable to maintaining good relationships with all co-workers...
When we think of our community or neighborhood, we usually think of those who live close by. I live in a farm community so neighbors houses are not real close, but we have a good neighborhood...
For several years now social scientists have warned us that family is disintegrating and will not survive. Is there danger that the American family will cease to exist? I do not think so...
Starting and maintaining a right relationship with God is essential to enjoying productive associations with others...
We often allow ourselves to be defined by our work or title, and when that is taken from us (or we lose it), we also lose part of our identity as well...
Natural disasters (tornado, hurricane, floods, wildfire, etc) by their very nature are forceful, sudden, and often unpredictable. The normal response is helplessness and disbelief, followed often by tears, confusion, and depression...
The reality of possibly facing the end of life brings a host of emotions: anger, frustration, hopelessness, isolation, confusion, and despair. These all have their roots in fear. Navigating through this minefield of emotions can be very difficult, not only for the patient, but for those who are close to the patient.
We hope to give you some tangible examples of how you might help and encourage someone who is dealing with a crisis in their life...
RightNow Media@ Work Videos
Real Relationships | Les & Leslie Parrott
In Real Relationships, we dig below the surface to the depths of human interactions, offering advice and practical tools for improving the most important aspect of human life: relationships. Designed for college students, young adults, singles, and dating couples, we teach the basic of healthy relationships, including friendship, dating, sexuality, and relating to God. Real Relationships furnishes an honest guide to forming the rich relationships that are life's greatest treasure.
More RightNow Media@Work resources on Relationships
Bible Passages
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." | Exodus 20:12 (NIV)
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain." |Proverbs 31:10-11 (NIV)
"My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching." | Proverbs 6:20 (NIV)
"But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children." | Psalm 103:17 (NIV)
"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." | Joshua 24:15 (NIV)
"He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise." | Proverbs 11:29 (NIV)
Quotes
“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strenghs; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” | William Arthur Ward
"There is nothing in the world worse than a bad marriage, and at the same time nothing better than a good one." | Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott
"The first duty of love is to listen." | Paul Tillich
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." | Albert Schweitzer
“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” | William Arthur Ward
“For a marriage relationship to flourish, there must be intimacy. It takes an enormous amount of courage to say to your spouse, 'This is me. I'm not proud of it -- in fact, I'm a little embarrassed by it -- but this is who I am.'" | Bill Hybels
"The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescending, you will find these unlovely traits echoed all about you. But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring out the best in the persons with whom you are going to spend most of your working hours." | Beatrice Vincent
"What is the most dramatic loss experienced in a new marriage? The idealized image you have of your partner." | Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." | Ruth Bell Graham
“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” | Dietrich Bonhoeffer
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” | Thomas Aquinas
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" | George Eliot
“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” | Zig Ziglar
"The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself." | G.K. Chesterton
"We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves." | Henry Ward Beecher
"What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow." ~ Martin Luther
"Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." | Matthew Henry
"All great change in America begins at the dinner table." | Ronald Reagan
"In the family, life is brought not only to our doorstep, but into our kitchens, bedrooms, and dens. In the family, life is happening all around us, and it begs to be questioned, evaluated, interpreted, and discussed. There is no more consistent, pregnant, dynamic forum for instruction about life than the family, because that is exactly what God designed the family to be, a learning community." | Paul David Tripp