Leading on Empty…with the Gas Pedal Floored 

 

What do you do when life shows up and it affects the people you love at home and work? Well, you work harder, longer, sleep less, eat when you can, try to be 100% present in both places, and keep pressing in while trying to control everything. It’s got to get easier, right? Horrible advice!   

 
 

You are still meeting goals, deadlines, and getting results! However, your mind, body, and emotions are saying something totally different. You say you’re fine, but your eye twitches. You are exhausted but feel the need to push on. Others start asking, “How are you doing?…You seem tired.” Your body hurts and you keep going. You skip date nights with your spouse because there’s work to be done. “I will overcome the circumstances and still prevail”! “I can do it myself!” “Just a few more weeks then I will rest.”  

I kept praying and asking God to take the stress from me, but continued to grip onto the things I thought I could control. I knew what the Bible said. Let me “church it up” a bit:   

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” | 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

For some dumb reason, I didn’t. I gripped tighter. So, I kept the pedal floored on an empty tank.  

Hi, my name is Chaplain Todd Brewer, and I’m a recovering work-aholic and control freak (just kidding…kind of)! Does this sound like you too or is it just me? 

The Pendulum 

For several years, I taught police officers, pastors, and church people the principal of the pendulum. Note: There is no such thing as a “stress free” life. We all get stressed. When you don’t make time to rest, take care of your mind, body, and emotions the pendulum to gets “stuck” on the stress side. When that happens, your body starts to let you know…unless you ignore it. I chose not to listen and kept pushing on without filling up. 

What does filling up look like? I’m glad you asked! Filling up is taking time to rest, taking care of your body, pressing into your faith, your family, and then your work. Sleep is your friend! God tells us to take a day of rest. He did. Not that HE needed to, HE’s God, but we’re not! 

“So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world.” | Hebrews 4:9-11

God wants us to rest to be with HIM and your family. 

Back to the visual. The pendulum is supposed to swing back and forth. Stress and recovery…stress and recovery. The recovery side of the pendulum is how we take care of ourselves and others. 

If you know anything about animals, they need to rest too. If you work them to hard with no rest, some will just lay down and not move. It’s bad for their bodies. God knew this about us. When he created us, HE wanted us to rest from our work and lean into HIM. 

 
 

Filler Up 

While writing this blog, I reached out to our CEO, Mr. Todd Simmons, to gain his insight regarding leading on empty.  Here are three thoughts he wanted to share with us. 

“Recognize that your work does NOT define you. Your relationships - with God, your family and friends - is the most critical aspect of life. 

I try to create a balance between work, family, spiritual and physical health…that balance starts with trying to “turn work off” and be present for family and personal time. This is very hard, but necessary.  

Being active is my outlet, getting out on a bike or hiking is most fun for me! Shooting hoops with the kids after work is a current activity I look forward to!! Find passions/hobbies outside of work. Hopefully that your family or spouse enjoy as well.”

How do I fill up my tank? 

  • Tell my friend my struggles.  I give him full access, allow him to speak in my life, and pray for me. If no one knows your struggles, you don’t get BETTER you get BITTER!  We all need a stronger swimmer in areas we need to raise the bar in. 

  • 8 hours of sleep is the goal (sleep is your friend). 

  • I pray and read the Bible (literally with open hands occasionally) --asking God to take from me what is out of my control. 

  • I eat pretty clean. 

  • Workout 

  • Go fishing with the boys – whenever schedules allow. 

  • Talk and pray with my pastors. 

  • Go to church regularly.  I love worship and my pastor’s messages.  They seem to hit me like a spiritual 2x4. 

  • Mandatory date night- weekly with my wife. 

  • Weekly Brew Crew dinners (family time).  

A good friend told me, “How can you take care of your faith, your family, or your Team Members at work, if you don’t take care of yourself!  Can I get an AMEN, somebody? 

While writing this blog, I also reached out to our friend and Simmons Care Clinic Counselor, Karina Tun, LPC for some advice. She shared this: “Professionally and personally, I believe people are most effective when they give themselves permission to slow down, ask for support when needed, and acknowledge that they cannot pour from an empty cup. Consistency in caring for our whole self will safeguard us from reaching empty.” 

If you are “doing all the things”, and you’re still stuck and feel empty, talk to a Chaplain, make an appointment and see your physician, and/or reach out to a mental health professional.  

You are Loved, Appreciated, and Prayed for! 

Chaplain Todd Brewer 

 
StressTodd Brewer