Standards of Living vs. Standards for Living
Two little words that have created so much tension in my life the past six months - of and for. If I can be transparent with you for a minute, I have spent so much thought, time, and money focused on my "Standards of Living": cars, house, income, etc. Maybe you can relate? The tension, I believe, comes from the reality that when it really comes down to it, I benefit much more when I invest in improving and working on my Standards for Living.
In my line of work, I get to walk alongside many people at the end of life. What is always fascinating to me is what people want to talk about when they only have a few weeks or months to live. It is rarely anything I just mentioned above. It is almost always regrets that would fall under "Standards for Living": family, generosity, character and integrity.
I have had the incredible opportunity to teach an afternoon session in our Leadership Development foundational class on the topic of Living and Leading with Values. We have corporate values at Simmons which guide and inform our decisions, actions, and culture. In this training, I provide space for the participants to articulate their own personal values - what is most important to you as an individual?
Maybe you have been through a process like this before, but what we have found is that less than 10% have raised their hands when asked if they have ever spent time articulating their own personal values before. Each participant is given 36 values cards and asked to rank them in categories of Most Important, More Important, Neutral, Less Important, and Least Important.
What is challenging about this process is that there can only be 6 values in the Most Important category. You can feel the tension in the room as they articulate and discern what is most important to them. These values range include such things as:Healthy Relationships, Clarity, Integrity, Fame, Wealth, Quality, Teamwork, Spirituality, Vision, and so on.
The purpose behind this assessment is to not only be able to articulate what our values are, but then to connect these Standards for Living with our behaviors, actions, and attitude. Because Healthy Relationships is one of your core values: What do you need to stop doing, continue doing, or start doing to better live out that value?
It can be far too easy at times to focus on our Standards of Living. Think of the outside influences that are coming at you every day through the media. They have a mission and that is to draw your thoughts towards things and stuff that you don’t have, or as Dave Ramsey puts it, they entice you to “buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t even like.”
If you were to put a scale on the table in front of you, and on one side you have the amount of time, effort, money, and thought that you put into your Standards for Living. On the other side, is your Standards of Living. Which way would the scale tip today?
My encouragement to you is that you would begin to focus more on Standards for Living. Instead of dreaming about how you can buy the new 2017 model car, what if you invested that time into a vision for the kind of man or woman you are trying to become?
What do you picture when you dream about the kind of family you hope yours becomes? If you have kids at home, what experiences do you hope you had together? What kind of young man or young woman are you helping to develop as a result of them being in your home for the next 1-18 years?
My prayer for you is that you would continue to seek to live a life that brings honor and glory to God. As you continue to give God the areas of your life that you have had the strongest grip on, I trust that He will be faithful.
“May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.”
In my line of work, I get to walk alongside many people at the end of life. What is always fascinating to me is what people want to talk about when they only have a few weeks or months to live. It is rarely anything I just mentioned above. It is almost always regrets that would fall under "Standards for Living": family, generosity, character and integrity.
I have had the incredible opportunity to teach an afternoon session in our Leadership Development foundational class on the topic of Living and Leading with Values. We have corporate values at Simmons which guide and inform our decisions, actions, and culture. In this training, I provide space for the participants to articulate their own personal values - what is most important to you as an individual?
Maybe you have been through a process like this before, but what we have found is that less than 10% have raised their hands when asked if they have ever spent time articulating their own personal values before. Each participant is given 36 values cards and asked to rank them in categories of Most Important, More Important, Neutral, Less Important, and Least Important.
What is challenging about this process is that there can only be 6 values in the Most Important category. You can feel the tension in the room as they articulate and discern what is most important to them. These values range include such things as:Healthy Relationships, Clarity, Integrity, Fame, Wealth, Quality, Teamwork, Spirituality, Vision, and so on.
The purpose behind this assessment is to not only be able to articulate what our values are, but then to connect these Standards for Living with our behaviors, actions, and attitude. Because Healthy Relationships is one of your core values: What do you need to stop doing, continue doing, or start doing to better live out that value?
It can be far too easy at times to focus on our Standards of Living. Think of the outside influences that are coming at you every day through the media. They have a mission and that is to draw your thoughts towards things and stuff that you don’t have, or as Dave Ramsey puts it, they entice you to “buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t even like.”
If you were to put a scale on the table in front of you, and on one side you have the amount of time, effort, money, and thought that you put into your Standards for Living. On the other side, is your Standards of Living. Which way would the scale tip today?
My encouragement to you is that you would begin to focus more on Standards for Living. Instead of dreaming about how you can buy the new 2017 model car, what if you invested that time into a vision for the kind of man or woman you are trying to become?
What do you picture when you dream about the kind of family you hope yours becomes? If you have kids at home, what experiences do you hope you had together? What kind of young man or young woman are you helping to develop as a result of them being in your home for the next 1-18 years?
My prayer for you is that you would continue to seek to live a life that brings honor and glory to God. As you continue to give God the areas of your life that you have had the strongest grip on, I trust that He will be faithful.
“May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.”
~ 2 Peter 1:2-7 (NLT)