"Treat others the way you would like to be treated." Matthew 7:12
Have you ever worked for someone you believed in so much that you would walk through walls for? Maybe you’ve had a teacher, pastor, maybe its your spouse or a parent - someone who influenced your by the way they lived and the way they led others. The greatest leaders find a way to balance relationships and results. In every leadership role, there is a tension when it comes to how we get things done. If you want some practical tips to becoming a more effective leader, teacher, parent or spouse - keep reading...
Many times, when we have to respond to an angry person, anger has hijacked their thinking. Their emotions have taken over their reasoning to the point they cannot be “reasoned with.” How do you respond when the anger is pointed at you?
What do we do about our own anger? I don’t want to be a bomb looking for a place to explode, nor do I want to be in danger of imploding, turning the anger inward until I am a wreck. Internalized anger that is never expressed, maybe from a fear of confrontation or by the belief that feeling or expressing anger is wrong, does just as much damage to our bodies, minds and souls as does an explosion of anger...
Anger is easily mismanaged or allowed to get out of control. Anger out of control or mismanaged is like an atomic bomb. Like detonating an atomic bomb, destruction happens when anger hijacks our thinking.Anger as God intends it is just as “nuclear” as an atomic bomb. The difference is that anger under control and properly managed is like the nuclear reactor that produces power for millions.
The person who has learned to control anger responsibly has taken a giant step of maturity. Many of the problems that we struggle with today are rooted in misunderstood and mismanaged anger. There are few things in this world that are more important than correcting the mismanagement of anger...
Do you ever leap before you look? It is one of the many symptoms of Control Freak flu. And remember, Control Freak is not intended as a derogatory term, but a descriptive term. Control freaks can be in such a hurry to get and keep everything in our world under control that we make mistakes in the process. Why? Because we feel out of control. That’s the heart of the matter. Either we are trying to “feel not out of control,” or we are trying to avoid losing what little control we have left, that we run on a high-octane human fuel called anxiety. Anxiety is the germ that causes Control Freak flu. And once it spreads, anxiety manifests itself in innumerable ways.
How do you wrestle the reins out of the hands of the Control Freak in your life? That depends more on your relationship to the Control Freak than what they are doing to control your life. Dr. Parrott, in his book “The Control Freak,” lists six different varieties of Control Freaks and gives suggestions on how to cope with each.
Most people would agree that a sense of control is necessary for good emotional and physical health. But when people use control to dominate everything around them they have crossed the boundary into over-control. The key is being smart enough to know when to use your control and when not to, or how much control to tolerate from others. Your over-controlling creates stress in me and makes me feel that I have no control at all.
Is It Right for You to be Angry?
Last week I said that anger will never completely disappear from our lives this side of heaven, nor should it. There is a time and a place for anger and it will either be our servant or our master. In order for our anger to be our servant, we need to get beyond anger management to anger control. Anger is an emotion, and we do not have direct volitional control over our emotions. We can’t will ourselves to like people we have an emotional hatred for. We can choose to do the loving thing for them even though we don’t like them; but we can’t simply tell ourselves to stop being angry.