Planning a Funeral
When a loved one passes away, whether unexpectedly or not, our minds tend to go into a whirl. This is normal, and there are things that you and I can do now to help lessen the whirl when that time comes. I am suggesting that you make it more bearable on your own family and loved ones by writing out some of your own information on these pages. Keep it in a safe place and let your loved ones know where it is. If you choose to keep it in a safe deposit box, make sure that you are not the only one who can access it. It is personal and private, so keep it in a personal and private place.
Name _____________________________________________________________
Birthdate ______________ Birthplace __________________________________
Social Security Number ________________________
Location of important documents ________________
Current address _____________________________________________________
Resident since _______________________________
Citizen of ____________________________________
Phone ______________________________________
Marital Status _______________________________
Occupation __________________________________
Date of Marriage ______________________________
Name of Spouse _______________________________
Education
School ______________________________________________________________
Dates attended _______________________________________________________
Diploma/Degree ______________________________________________________
School ______________________________________________________________
Diploma/Degree ______________________________________________________
Military Service
Branch __________________ Rank ________________
Date of Enlistment _______________ Date of Discharge ___________
Serial Number _______________
Location of documents _________________________________________________
Fraternal, Service & Union Memberships
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Special Recognition/Honors
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Community Service
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Parents
Father’s Name _________________________ Birthdate _______________________
Father’s Birthplace _____________________ Date of Death ____________________
Mother’s Name _________________________Birthdate _______________________
Mother’s Birthplace _____________________ Date of Death ___________________
Step Parent ____________________________Birthdate _______________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Date of Death ___________________
Step Parent ____________________________Birthdate _______________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Date of Death ___________________
Your Children
(1) Name _________________________________ Birthdate ____________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Spouse _________________________
Current Address ________________________________________________________
Their Children___________________________________________________________
(2) Name _________________________________ Birthdate ____________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Spouse _________________________
Current Address ________________________________________________________
Their Children___________________________________________________________
(3) Name _________________________________ Birthdate ____________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Spouse _________________________
Current Address ________________________________________________________
Their Children___________________________________________________________
(4) Name _________________________________ Birthdate ____________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Spouse _________________________
Current Address ________________________________________________________
Their Children___________________________________________________________
(5) Name _________________________________ Birthdate ____________________
Birthplace _____________________________ Spouse _________________________
Current Address ________________________________________________________
Their Children___________________________________________________________
My Preferences
(circle one) Burial Direct Cremation Funeral/Cremation Graveside Only
Preferred Funeral Home or Funeral Director__________________________________
I have (pre-paid) (pre-planned) my funeral with________________________________
Address _____________________________________ Phone ____________________
Cemetery/Mausoleum ___________________________________________________
Address _____________________________________ Phone ___________________
Location of Plot _________________________________________________________
Casket ______________________________________ Urn ______________________
Vault __________________________________________________________________
Location of Services ______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Persons You Would Like Involved in the Service
Clergy/Celebrant ________________________________________________________
Family _________________________________________________________________
Friends ________________________________________________________________
Pall Bearers ____________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Military _________________________________________________________________
Lodge __________________________________________________________________
Work ___________________________________________________________________
Other ___________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Favorite Flowers
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Viewing/Visitation
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Music Preference
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Readings or Scripture Preference (favorite verses)
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Pictures/Video
_______________________________________________________________________
Location of pictures/video
_______________________________________________________________________
Mementos (favorite hat, fishing pole, etc.)
_______________________________________________________________________
Special Requests (live taps, no taps, no viewing, etc.)
_______________________________________________________________________
Reception/Gathering
_______________________________________________________________________
Donations/Charities
_______________________________________________________________________
Stories
_______________________________________________________________________
IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS
Attorney _________________________________ Phone _______________________
Email ___________________________________ Address ______________________
Financial Planner _________________________ Phone ________________________
Email ___________________________________ Address _______________________
Location and Contacts
Will/Trust Documents ____________________________________________________
Birth Certificate ________________________________________________________
Marriage Certificate _____________________________________________________
Divorce Decree _________________________________________________________
Veteran’s Discharge Certificates ___________________________________________
Social Security Card _____________________________________________________
Insurance Policies _______________________________________________________
Retirement Benefits Documents ____________________________________________
Automobile Titles ________________________________________________________
Mortgages/Deeds _______________________________________________________
Utilities and Services & Account Numbers ____________________________________
Electric ________________________________________________________________
Gas ____________________________________________________________________
Water __________________________________________________________________
Television _______________________________________________________________
Phones _________________________________________________________________
Internet ________________________________________________________________
Other __________________________________________________________________
Credit Cards & Account Numbers
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Financial Institutions, Type of Account & #
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Stock Certificates/Bonds_________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Income Tax Returns (person & location)______________________________________
Safe Deposit Box Key & Location____________________________________________
Computer Passwords______________________________________________________
Other Important Documents and Contacts_____________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Whew! Do I really need all that? No, no one needs all this. I have tried to include a place for everything that might be needed to jog your memory. I’ve heard widows and widowers bemoan the fact that they didn’t have some of this information that their loved one knew from memory. If you are able to fill out the parts of this that pertain to you and leave it in a place where your family can find it easily, they will need little else. One gentleman added, “If nobody laughs at my funeral, I’m not coming.” One sweet lady wrote on the outside of the envelope, “These are my preferences, feel free to change them if you need to.” We did change a few things, I think we made more of a fuss over her at the funeral than she would have been comfortable with in her living presence, but it was healing to the rest of us.
There is one last thing I always recommend when writing lists such as this. There will be things that you might prefer, but are willing to allow family to do whatever they need do…put a note in your own handwriting in the appropriate places indicating that.